I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He shit in the fireplace
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
