Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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