they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
