I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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