but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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