I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
