I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize