I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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