thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
