you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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