Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
