i already hear my dad disowning me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
