guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
