It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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