Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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