Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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