How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
