Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
