I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
