Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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