Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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