She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
