Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
