I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
