no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
