I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
