i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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