flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
