i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
