apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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