this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
