Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Houston, we have a squirter
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
