I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
