She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
