some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Randomize