you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
