You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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