So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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