i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
