margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
