jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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