She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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