Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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