so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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