Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think people are normalizing furries
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
