Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
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