Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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