My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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