Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
