so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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