I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
