One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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