kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
