Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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