remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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