dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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