Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
