It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
