I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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