I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
